Friday, May 27, 2005

Knit 'n' Bitch

Ginny went shopping today for a pair of knitting needles and some wool. She hasn't knitted a stitch since primary school when all the girls knitted a tea cosy for their mothers while all the boys learnt to whittle a spoon out of a piece of wood. Clive was quite surprised to learn that Ginny could knit.

'I can do plain and I can do purl if I concentrate very hard,' says Ginny sniffily. 'I've got to stick at it or I won't be able to go to Knit 'n' Bitch.'

'What's Knit 'n' Bitch when it's at home,' asks Clive, peering over the top of the Racing Post.

'It's the new craze, everyone's at it - all the celebrities. You go to someone's house with your needles and your wool and you knit while you talk. There's a Knit 'n' Bitch at Bonnie's house this week. I can catch up on the gossip and knit Jake a jumper while I'm at it.'

Clive looked sceptical: 'Wouldn't it be easier just to have the Bitch?'

Ginny pulled a face.

'What colour will my jumper be?' asked Jake.

'Red'

Jake smiled. Jake only wears red now that Liverpool are the champs. He's been wearing his Liverpool kit all week, it's beginning to smell. When I say he's been wearing it all week I mean it. The kit stays on night and day. I think Ginny hopes to prise it off him by knitting an alternative red garment.

'Look I've got the pattern and the wool, here.'

Ginny proudly held up several balls of red acrylic 4-ply and a knitting pattern the like of which Clive and Jake had obviously never encountered. On the front were two boys. One was sitting on a log gazing at a distant vista, the other boy was standing at his side pointing at same distant vista. Boys like these have not been seen in the UK since around 1952. They were immaculate, with short-back-and-sides neatly combed with a slicked down side parting, grey school shorts, grey school knee-high socks and hand-knits - one V-neck, one crew - which displayed every knitting technique known to women. There was rib (K2P2) there was moss stitch (K1P1K1 then reverse on next row) there was cable (err . . . I give up).

'It looks quite intricate,' Clive sounded doubtful.

'Oh, it'll be quite easy once I get down to it,' said Ginny, also sounding doubtful. 'I'll make a start on it tonight. I don't want to turn up without anything on my needles.'

I'm looking forward to this knitting lark - those balls look fun to chase.