A bit about Ginny
It's nearly two months since I came to live with the Philpotts and I sometimes wonder if they're a normal human family.
Take Ginny. She has recently taken to tying a length of rope around her waist. Attached to the rope is a car tyre. She then walks briskly around the garden 100s of times, sometimes breaking into a run and always breaking into a sweat. I have a lot of fun chasing her. She never does this when any of the family are around - I suspect they'd laugh.
Ginny has an ongoing problem with her weight. From where I'm standing - about 9 inches off the ground - Ginny's proportions are immense. She has quite thin legs for a human but a very ample behind and is what people call 'well endowed'. I'm not quite sure what this means. At first I thought it meant she had loads of money but having seen her 'borrowing' money from the boys' piggy banks I don't think that's so. I think it may have something to do with her top half. In the mornings Clive often creeps up behind Ginny, grabs her bazookas and asks endearingly: 'And how is my busty, young wench today?' Ginny shakes him off - she'd usually in the middle of making the boys' sandwiches - with a sort of 'can't you see I'm busy' shrug of the shoulders, but the half smile on her lips indicates that she's secretly pleased that her husband of 17 years still finds time for a bit of a squeeze.
Ginny is always worried about her size. She's tried every diet that's going and is fond of taking up exercise fads. This week's fad is the tyre thing. In the cupboard under the stairs is the evidence of previous fads. An exercise bike - boring. An abdominal toner - cricked her back. A step-er-cise - tripped over it. A hula-hoop - couldn't get it up. A Pilates machine - 'why do I need a machine to clench my buttocks?' I'm a bit concerned about Ginnys fads. I heard her on the phone to her friend Liz: 'I thought if I got a dog it would help me get fit. I mean springer spaniels need loads of walks so it'll be the perfect excuse to get out of the house.'
If I'm one Ginny's fads I hope she sticks with it. I don't want to end up in the cupboard under the stairs.
Take Ginny. She has recently taken to tying a length of rope around her waist. Attached to the rope is a car tyre. She then walks briskly around the garden 100s of times, sometimes breaking into a run and always breaking into a sweat. I have a lot of fun chasing her. She never does this when any of the family are around - I suspect they'd laugh.
Ginny has an ongoing problem with her weight. From where I'm standing - about 9 inches off the ground - Ginny's proportions are immense. She has quite thin legs for a human but a very ample behind and is what people call 'well endowed'. I'm not quite sure what this means. At first I thought it meant she had loads of money but having seen her 'borrowing' money from the boys' piggy banks I don't think that's so. I think it may have something to do with her top half. In the mornings Clive often creeps up behind Ginny, grabs her bazookas and asks endearingly: 'And how is my busty, young wench today?' Ginny shakes him off - she'd usually in the middle of making the boys' sandwiches - with a sort of 'can't you see I'm busy' shrug of the shoulders, but the half smile on her lips indicates that she's secretly pleased that her husband of 17 years still finds time for a bit of a squeeze.
Ginny is always worried about her size. She's tried every diet that's going and is fond of taking up exercise fads. This week's fad is the tyre thing. In the cupboard under the stairs is the evidence of previous fads. An exercise bike - boring. An abdominal toner - cricked her back. A step-er-cise - tripped over it. A hula-hoop - couldn't get it up. A Pilates machine - 'why do I need a machine to clench my buttocks?' I'm a bit concerned about Ginnys fads. I heard her on the phone to her friend Liz: 'I thought if I got a dog it would help me get fit. I mean springer spaniels need loads of walks so it'll be the perfect excuse to get out of the house.'
If I'm one Ginny's fads I hope she sticks with it. I don't want to end up in the cupboard under the stairs.
posted by Arrow at 8:24 AM
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